Excerpt from LAN
LURCH
Sup. (Takes a big whiff) I smell Rich but I don’t see him.
MIKEY
He’s upstairs addressing that exact problem. (beat) Where’s Jacik?
Wojtek
Did I not tell you?
LURCH
He decided to not come because Rich was gonna be here.
MIKEY
(sighs) Figures. Now we’re down one. (beat) As you all know I’m hosting tonight so you can all
meet Jamie
They nod in understanding
MIKEY
I just want all of you to be on your best behavior.
LURCH
I’m just here to play some games dude. You don’t gotta worry about me.
MIKEY
Good. Thank you. Both of you.
9
LURCH
Also, I’m pretty sure she was already outside when I got here.
MIKEY
Wait what.
He checks his phone
Oh shit.
MIKEY exits through the outside door. RICH
returns down the stairs with wet hair wearing a shirt
that clearly doesn’t fit. Wojtek and LURCH start
laughing as soon as they see him)
RICH
What the fuck are you laughing at?
LURCH
(Playfully) You. You look like the Pillsbury Dough Boy started Day Drinking.
RICH
(offended but still playful) Oh yeah? Well at least I don’t need a telescope to see my dick.
LURCH
(Brushing it off) You’d need an archaeological expedition. (They laugh) It’s good to see ya Rich
RICH
Where’s little Sicko? I thought he was supposed to be here.
Wojtek
I assume you mean my brother, Jacik. According to Lurch he was able to smell you from the car
so he went home.
LURCH
It’s true ya know.
MIKEY enters with Jamie
Alexander J. Preziosi 